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Finding the Right Balance Between Two Languages

As parents raising our kids to be bilingual, we want them to achieve proficiency in both languages. Our hope is they’ll become equally fluent, literate and comfortable in each tongue.

Yet in reality, balancing two languages perfectly is an elusive goal. Life inevitably tilts the scales to one language dominating over the other. Try as we may, “balanced bilingualism” is rare.

However, with intention and insight, we can promote functional fluency in both languages for our children. Though imbalance is typical, kids can gain ability to comfortably converse, read and write in each of their languages.


In this post, I’ll explore the realities around achieving language balance, signs of imbalance, and proactive steps parents can take to tip the scales in a supportive bilingual direction.


Challenges to Perfect Language Balance

Before delving into strategies, it helps to understand the tall order that balanced bilingualism presents. Here are some of the realities that make striking equal ability in two languages difficult:

  • One language inevitably gets more exposure, usually the majority language once kids are in school full-time. The minority language relies more on deliberate cultivation.
  • Vocabulary builds more easily in the language used more frequently. The less-used language suffers gaps.
  • Kids gravitate to the language they can express themselves best in, often the majority tongue later on.
  • Majority language media, socializing, academics and work needs dominate for functional purposes.
  • Without ongoing literacy instruction, reading/writing lag in the minority language.
  • Speaking accent and pronunciation drift toward the predominant language patterns.
  • Social incentives and peer use strongly influence language preference away from minority language.

Despite parents’ best efforts, the majority language gains dominance for most kids by middle childhood onward once schooling begins in that language. Yet “balanced” does not mean parity in all areas. Parents can still support high proficiency in both languages through our bilingual parenting strategies.


Signs of Language Imbalance

How can we tell when language gaps are emerging that threaten the goal of functional fluency in both tongues? Here are some signs to watch for:

  • Kid responds or initiates in majority language most of the time, even during minority language time.
  • Majority language has more advanced vocabulary for expressing ideas and emotions.
  • Much smoother conversational ability and complexity in majority language.
  • Far greater comprehension in majority language.
  • Asks for translations or explanations of minority language words.
  • Resists or shows frustration using the minority language.
  • Uses majority language even with minority language speakers.
  • Has strong majority language literacy but struggles reading minority language.

Seeing any of these indicators means intentionally boosting the lagging language. The good news is parents have many strategies to spur minority language growth!


How Parents Can Build the Minority Language

When you notice your child’s majority language starting to overtake the minority language, use these tactics to tip the scales back towards balance:

Maximize minority language at home - Make its use fun, consistent and well-supported through activities, media and parent modeling. Show kids you value their progress.

Address vocabulary gaps - Build word lists, labels and imagery. Use games to drill common terms. Read books that reinforce key concepts in context.

Increase time with native speakers - Arrange video chats, trips and cultural events to surround kids with rich exposure. Tap into community resources.

Discuss language identity - Have open conversations about bilingualism’s merits and the importance of developing abilities in both languages. Instill pride.

Set clear expectations about family language use - Politely insist on using the minority language during designated times or activities. Gently correct mixing.

Address literacy skill gaps - Work on reading, writing and phonics skills through lessons, worksheets and games. Have kids write stories in the language.

Make it fun! - Use interactive activities, arts and crafts, music, drama and cooking to lower inhibitions and gain confidence using the language.

Tap into motivation - Kids are motivated when they gain skills to do things they enjoy like games, hobbies and socializing in the language. Help make it relevant.

Track and celebrate progress - Note milestones achieved and make kids aware of their own growth. Display writing samples and praise effort.


With this intentional support, the minority language skills can catch up and balance out more over time. The majority language will likely still dominate in some aspects, but functional fluency in both is an achievable goal.


Setting Realistic Bilingual Balance Goals

In closing, I encourage parents to reflect on what “balance” really means for your family’s bilingual objectives. Given the realities we face, perfect parity between languages is improbable.


But that doesn’t mean bilingualism has failed. Kids can attain excellent conversational abilities, literacy skills, vocabulary depth, and cultural connection in both languages with our nurturing support.


Rather than 50/50 balance across all metrics, consider goals like:

  • Does my child have strong social language skills in each language?
  • Can they succeed in academic settings conducted in both languages?
  • Do they feel confident reading, writing and expressing themselves creatively in each?
  • Do they appreciate and feel a sense of belonging to both cultures?

These functional fluency goals are realistic to strive for, even if the majority language pulls ahead in domains like vocabulary breadth and speaking accent. Our task as parents is to ensure the minority language keeps pace enough to confer the many cognitive, social and cultural benefits of bilingualism.


With insight and commitment, parents can achieve success raising kids with feet firmly planted in two worlds. Let me know your thoughts and questions! What strategies have helped your family balance bilingual abilities?

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